Monday, April 22, 2024

2018 BMW M5 Sedan: If You’ve Got the Money, Honey…

Who needs a fast, sexy sedan that starts at $102,000 and only goes up as you add more glamour and glitter?

If you have this kind of money and want to be seen in something incredible sexy no matter where you go (warm climates, preferably), this is your car. It’s an eight-speed automatic transmission with All-Wheel Drive, so if you really are looking for a race car with Rear-Wheel Drive and manual transmission, this ain’t it. No, this is your car for cruising around Palm Springs or Key West or even the Castro, but watch out for those high curbs and short-timed parking meters.  Scratch something on this baby and repairs really are expensive.

Keep in mind that much like the big beautiful hunk you take home and keep for awhile, you may always be spending money on him just to keep his beauty and virility going.  Mileage on the M5 is mere 17 mpg combined, thus the American governmental estimate is that you will spend $1,100 more per year on petrol for the M5 than you would if you bought something more practical. But who cares?  If you have that kind of money, you are spending it on all kinds of other crazy crap anyway.  And if you really are on a budget, okay, so that means fewer trips through the Taco Bell drive thru.

The luxury on the M5 just doesn’t stop.  Red, White and Blue, Black or White, so many colors from which to choose.  As always, these cars are not designed for larger fellas, so please please please, get all your friends in first and see how they fit.  Hey, if you are going to spend this kind of money, you need to make sure it holds all your assets – and that clearly includes all those people that you hold near and dear to your head – and your heart.

Sedans may not always be seen as the sexiest cars out there, but I think they are the perfect vehicle for bears.  Think about it: four doors, low to the ground.  As much as we would like to think that we really can take on all comers (in certain haciendas, perhaps we can), we really do need to think about how we can best pack a lot of loads and go as fast as we can into as practical a space as possible.

If you’ve got the money, honey, the 2018 BMW M5 is one of the nicest ways to show it all off.

Photos by Dave Bear

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