Sunday, May 19, 2024

2019 Chrysler Pacifica Hybrid: A Mom-Car for a Dad-Bod that gets 82 mpg

This review is dedicated to all you smarter-than-the-average bears out there who have children 1) because you and your hus-bear truly wanted to raise a family of humans in a loving, caring home, or 2) you had a previous entanglement with a woman that did not end well (and what a tangle that must have been).  Yes, I am talking to you, to quote Robert de Niro in Taxi Driver (or Rosemary Clooney singing Hey There).

Sometimes you have to sacrifice stunning and sexy for practicality – or do you?  Introducing the 2019 Chrysler Pacifica Hybrid, a practical soccer-mom minivan if there ever was one.  I tested the hybrid, a vehicle that can, when using the appropriate mix of gas and electric, give you up to 82 miles per gallon.  Can you imagine?  From a minivan full of children and dogs and primary school band equipment?  Think of where that estimated $2,000 US in petrol savings could be spent. (Hmmm. Key West? Palm Spring?  Puerto Vallarta?)

This year’s Pacifica is pretty-much unchanged from last year, meaning it’s still a luxury (mostly) minivan that really knows how to show a gay a good time while having plenty of room for hauling all your friends and equipment around town and across country in style. Inside, there is no shortage of luxury – well, to me, it’s luxury, and it’s easy to clean should you spill anything carbonated, liquified or water-based.

Starting at $39,995 US, the Pacifica really is a working girl’s vehicle: you get all the room you need. As advertised, you can get seven passengers inside the vehicle, and with this baby, I think that might be true for our readership. Total passenger volume is 165 cubic feet, and if you put all the seats down (the second row does not fold flat on the hybrid due to the battery) you will get a total of 140 cubic feet of cargo space. Wow, you really could hold a charity event inside the Pacifica (but your love life doesn’t count here).

U.S. News and World Report ranks it at Number 2 for minivans, coming in just behind the Honda Odyssey. Those wonks really like the user-friendly technology and the upscale cabin quality, as well as the excellent fuel economy, naming it a finalist for their 2019 Best Minivan for Families honor. I take their word for it – every time.

Thus, I will admit that I’m not sure I’d advise anyone to buy the Pacifica if you don’t 1) have children or dogs or other dependents who take up a lot of room when driving, or 2) have other loved ones, like parents or disabled relatives whom you transport often who really do need a lot of room for equipment like wheelchairs, walkers and oxygen tanks (trust me, there is plenty of room for all of that should you need it).

And yet, I looked rather fabulous driving around town in it. Friends who saw me behind the wheel wondered if I was off my meds or if I had suddenly become domesticated by a straight man whom I had successfully converted to the gay lifestyle…

I love to keep ‘em guessing!


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