Thursday, April 25, 2024

2019 Toyota Avalon Hybrid: Perfect for when you are both June and Ward Cleaver

Becoming an adult last century meant that you learned to stand up straight, sit down properly, dress in adult clothes even when not required to do so (and not end sentences with prepositions), and most importantly, for me, it meant taking your time to enjoy the finer things in life, like oxygen and music that was not measured in Beats Per Minute.

That has also meant not having to rush from place to place as well as going to where you are going in style whenever possible.  Could you imagine June and Ward Cleaver cramming Wally and the Beav into a ‘luxury compact’ just so they can pay over $100 US for a gourmet Cheeseburger in Paradise?  Instead, they would have needed a nice large luxury sedan with plenty of room for their societal ‘largess’.

So what better way to show off your ‘largess’ than to do it with this year’s Toyota Avalon hybrid? It’s cheaper than its twin sister, the Lexus ES350, and this one is a hybrid, so you can save some money on gas and feel little better about saving the planet.  There! Doesn’t that make you feel better about being fabulous, privileged and able to spend at least $36,650 (base price) on a car?

This year’s Toyota Avalon has been fully redesigned so that safety is paramount, even as you struggle to maneuver it over those ever-tighter roads or in those ever-smaller parking spaces. My first impression is that the Avalon (“I found my love in Avalon” the old crooners used to sing…) does not look as grand as in years past, but hey, economy is everything nowadays. Still, there is plenty of room inside and there is even more luxury than you will ever need.  The Avalon is truly a rolling living room, something worthy of a queen regardless of sash legitimacy. The elegance is there waiting for you to make it your palace and enjoy it – in peace and quiet, which is hopefully why you get a car like this…

Know this: the ride is smooth, and when something goes wrong, well, it’s probably the driver’s fault. Yes, this car is almost perfect, at least that’s what U.S. News and World Report thinks.  Their website reports that the 2019 Toyota Avalon hybrid ranks Number 1 in Large Cars, ranks Number 2 in Hybrid and Electric Cars, is a winner of the Best Large Car for the Money and a finalist for Best Large Car for Families. (Families. That means all of you, LGTQB+s!)

Yes, sure, that’s splendid. Me? I just like feeling elegant. And an average 43 miles per gallon, I can feel pretty and smashing while I am driving my Avalon and having a cup of Earl Grey and a scone while waving at all the working class as I accidently crash a Pride parade…

Yeah, well, truth be told, most of us are working class, as am I, and if I am holding a cup of tea and scone while driving, it’s because I am doing double duty as a chauffeur and a butler.

Nonetheless, I loved driving the Avalon and you will too.  It’s elegant, it’s big but not too big, and it’s practical but not in an obvious way – and it’s cheaper than her newer flasher muse sister named Lexus, who really is identical (sorta).  Check it out when you get a chance.

…though you may want to pass on having me as your chauffeur or butler!

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