Alexander’s Midweek Movie News
Jesus may have rose from the dead this last weekend but the box office did not. This last weekend was the worst box office in almost 15 years. This brings us to the famous slogan: WWJW. What Would Jesus Watch?
Didn’t get your tickets for Avengers? No problem! More and more movie times are being added, setting a record for the number of around the clock showings. Woe to the movie projector person who hates comic book movies.
Speaking of comic book film fans, someone either has a serious Marvel fetish or they are a Brie Larson stalker. One man, from Wisconsin, set records by seeing Captain Marvel 116 times in the theater. I wonder how many times he’ll watch it on DVD in his mother’s basement. In his defense, I’m sure there is nothing else to do in Wisconsin but each cheese.
Hold on to your lightsabers! Han Solo returns for the next Star Wars film! Pretty reliable rumors tell us that Harrison Ford filmed a scene for the next and final Skywalker legacy film in which he appears to Kylo and says “put that down or you’re grounded” or something like that.
First images of the new version of Chucky came out – and so did he, apparently. He looks like the gay kid that talks trash about everyone’s outfits at recess.
Bad Boys 3 has wrapped filming. But, apparently Will’s “creative dispute” with Bad Boys writer and director Joe Carnahan caused Joe to leave Bad Boys 3. Maybe he can go direct Suicide Squad 2.
Goonies fans! Do you want the bad news, or the good news? Sean Astin reports that Goonies 2 is not probable but a reboot would be fine with him. Like I’ve said, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Unless it’s Rachel McAdams’ acting.
M. Night Shyamalan cried after seeing the bad reviews for his film Glass. That’s funny, I cried while having to watch the film itself. It was terrible….and my wine ran out.
It’s a trap! Well, now it’s a snap and an eye roll. Erik Bauersfeld, who voiced Admiral Akbar, threw some shade when he said that he was not a fan of The Last Jedi and pulled a Mariah Carey moment and said of Laura Dern’s character – I don’t know her!
Did you love Shazam? Want four sequels? Well it was revealed that Shazam actress Michelle Borth signed a five picture deal. I liked Star Wars too, but didn’t need four sequels. Two sequels were plenty.
Thank God Robert Downey Jr. has that Marvel money. His film, a reboot of Dr. Doolittle is having some issues and is going through some big time reshoots. Not a good sign at all…maybe at the end Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth should show up.
OMG Eddie Murphy is SO funny I want to see two of him in the same movie! In other news, I’m sober. He will be reprising his original role in Coming to America 2 as well as playing the villain. How adorable.
Roman Polanski is suing the Academy to be let back in after he was nixed due to a 1977 rape allegation. Um, Polanksi – ever hear of #MeToo?
John Cena and his beefy buns are trying to squeeze into the Suicide Squad 2 movie. They will have to add more to the costume budget to fit him in all that spandex. I’ll start a GoFundMe for it.
The trailer was released for Hustle, the female reboot of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels with Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson. Can I watch the movie with one eye closed, I LOVE Rebel Wilson and I…well…I love Anne Hathaway’s work for the LBGT community.
Johnny Depp is in cinematic hot water again. It was revealed that he tried to get Amber Heard fired from Aquaman due to his ongoing battles and allegations of domestic abuse. Depp should have just left it alone – I mean that script, that plot, that awful CGI – I don’t think it was a career changer.
Clint Eastwood should appear in Dreamgirls because he is telling us, he’s not going. He wants to direct a film based on the Olympic bombing in 1996, titled the Ballad of Richard Jewell. If Hollywood lore can be believed, his pants’ waistline rise two inches each film. He’ll be directing the Ballad with a Docker scarf.
