Amrit Kapai on his wedding, representation and Family Karma

Viewers of the show Family Karma have long anticipated the wedding of Amrit Kapai and Nicholas Kouchoukos and part 2 of the festivities will air this Sunday, February 26, at 9PM EST on Bravo.

The show itself takes an intimate look at the lives of seven Indian-American friends navigating life, love and careers while balancing the cultural traditions and expectations of their more traditional parents and grandparents. Kapai’s participation in the show is considered to be groundbreaking by many in the LGBTQ+ community as South Asian queer representation in the media is in short supply.

We sat down with the Kapai to get the inside scoop on representation, his journey towards fatherhood and how its been to rewatch his wedding with the viewing public.

Q40: A big storyline on Family Karma has been the run-up to the wedding and the melding of yours and Nicholas’ different cultural backgrounds and religions into the ceremony. Why was it important to you guys to have a spiritual component to your wedding as opposed to it being purely secular? Is religion/ spirituality a big part of your lives?
 
Amrit Kapai (AK): Both Nicholas and I were raised with rich religious traditions. Those religious traditions were a pillar in each of our separate upbringings and they continue to shape who we are as individuals today. It only made sense to incorporate aspects of Hinduism and Christianity into our wedding ceremony rather than to have a purely secular one. Furthermore, my parents would have struggled with a decision to not pay homage to our traditions in the ceremony.

Q40: Congratulations on receiving the HRC Visibility Award. What has it meant to you to provide that desperately needed representation in modern media for queer South Asians? 

AK: Thank you! The fact that the HRC recognized the social significance of the story I am privileged to tell through Family Karma is a great, great honor. I only hope that I have made 11-year Amrit proud of both his culture and sexuality. The conversations viewers have been allowed to witness in my life are not unique to only me. I think they transcend queer culture across the country. Hopefully queer youth will see our story and more importantly will see themselves in our story.

Q40: Looking back on your wedding being replayed on tv, is there anything you would change or wish you had done but didn’t?

AK: Seeing my wedding being replayed on Season 3 of Family Karma comes with its share of positives and negatives. It’s only been through seeing it from the viewers’ perspective that I now grasp the difficult position Nicholas, my parents and myself were in when it came to wedding planning. I should have been better about understanding Nicholas’s concerns and vocalizing those concerns with my parents.

Q40: You and Nicholas have been very forthcoming about wanting to start a family. Have you decided between adoption or surrogacy as of yet?
 
AK: Exciting news! Nicholas and I, indeed, have begun our journey to being parents. We will exhaust every resource available to us with surrogacy before going full force ahead with other options. Viewers have a bird’s eye view into the issues we’ve encountered thus far.

Q40: Part of the journey towards your wedding were frank and difficult discussions with loved ones, like the one with your mom over her saying that the festivities “didn’t feel like a wedding weekend”. What kind of discussions have you had with members of the public and South Asian community? Has the reception been positive, mixed or challenging? 
 
AK: We’ve discussed that comment and others with both the public and members of the South Asian community and the response has been overwhelmingly positive. Like I said, these discussions, as frank and difficult as they have been, are not unique to me, or Nicholas, nor the South Asian nor Evangelical community. I think that’s really been the driving factor allowing the positive reaction to resoundingly drown out the negative voices.

Q40: Has marriage changed your relationship with Nicolas at all? How will you celebrate your first anniversary?

AK: I didn’t see it coming that marriage would change my relationship with Nicholas, but, honestly, it has. There’s a sigh of relief one can breathe in getting married. I no longer find myself looking in the “rear view mirror” and wondering “what could be?” with another person. I’ve found that person, we fought hard to be where we are, and luckily, we married. We would love to celebrate our first anniversary by taking our honeymoon in Buenos Aires!

Q40: That sounds fabulous! Thank you so much Amrit for taking the time to chat with us and happy anniversary!!

For more information on Family Karma and Amrit Kapai check out the show’s official page on the Bravo website.