Dear Guncles: Halloween advice from your gay uncles
Jim and Mike are proud guncles of nephews, nieces, younger cousins and furry cats and they’re here to answer your life questions each month, big and small.
Turning Fright Night into Obscene Eve
Q: Dear Guncles,
For Halloween, my husband thinks it will be funny to dress up as a Corona Virus. I think it’s tasteless because of how many people have died. Am I wrong in thinking this? — Cringeworthy
A: Dear Cringeworthy,
It’s hard enough to find the right costume for the favorite holiday of the LGBTQ community, let alone find one that won’t offend people.
Read the room. If you’re attending a small party and someone there lost someone to Covid and is still distraught, probably not wise.
Having said that, the best costumes every year tend to be relevant to today’s pop culture or news. Also, Halloween allows people to get creative which is the fun part about this holiday. It’s where you can let your freak flag fly and push boundaries of what is acceptable. So your husband should go as his selected outfit. Who knows, his Covid costume may be such a big hit that it goes viral.
Party Killjoy
Q: Dear Guncles,
I am invited to a Halloween party but hate dressing up. I get a lot of pushback for it. Why don’t they just let me enjoy it without a costume? — Dressed to Unimpress
A: Dear Dressed to Unimpress,
The entire point of a Halloween party is to dress up.
By not dressing up, you basically signal two things. First it shows lack of respect for the host who put a lot of time, energy and money to host a fun event where everyone else is dressed up to add to the festivity. Second, it broadcasts to everyone there that you feel above everyone else or that you have no social cues or care.
Consider it as a dress code like you follow at work. If asked to go to the office in business attire, you don’t show up in a tank top and shorts. Same with a Halloween party. If you can follow work dress codes, do so by dressing up at a Halloween party.
So suck it up and find a simple mask to put on or politely decline attending.
Erotic Pumpkin Carving Neighbors
Q: Dear Guncles,
My neighbor carves erotic pumpkins and even uses phallic gourds. Since our neighborhood has many kids who go trick or treating, I worry about them going to their house. How can I address this concern with our neighbor? — Fig Leaf
A: Dear Fig Leaf,
Ah! The age old question, “Is it art or is it porn” – the gourd version. Having not seen the exact “unmentionables” mentioned, it’s, ahem, hard to answer. If these carvings and shapes are more human body parts, then consider it more of an anatomy lesson like Greek sculptures at the museum. If they are actual carved acts of “In flagrante delicto”, just don’t have your own kids go to that house if it bothers you.
Unless your town or housing complex has pumpkin decoration laws about what can be put on someone’s own private property, you probably don’t have much of a case to ‘squash’ it.
