How Pete and Chasten Buttigieg may inspire more gay men to be dads

With the news of Pete Buttigieg and his husband Chasten becoming parents, Peter Nieves, Chief Commercial Officer with WINFertility, weighs in on LGBTQ family-building trends.

On Aug. 17, Pete Buttigieg, the U.S. transportation secretary, and the first openly gay cabinet member confirmed by the Senate, announced that he and his husband, Chasten, were on the road to becoming parents.

“The process isn’t done yet and we’re thankful for the love, support, and respect for our privacy that has been offered to us,” Buttigieg, 39, wrote on Twitter. “We can’t wait to share more soon.”

On September 4, Pete Buttigieg posted this message to his Instagram account along with a photo of himself and Chasten holding their newborns:

“Chasten and I are beyond thankful for all the kind wishes since first sharing the news that we’re becoming parents. We are delighted to welcome Penelope Rose and Joseph August Buttigieg to our family.”

The news is sure to make parenting and fatherhood more tangible for gay men everywhere. We spoke to Peter Nieves about how this high profile couple might impact other gay men’s parenting choices and options.

Do you think the Buttigiegs’ decision to welcome children into their lives will inspire more male couples to consider fatherhood?

PN: Pete Buttigieg and his partner Chasten have been blessed with new babies and this demonstrates that everyone should, and hopefully will in the future, enjoy being parents. Nothing, especially a person’s gender, should detract from that immense joy. We are seeing an increase in employers offering inclusive family-building benefits like surrogacy and adoption, which are often utilized by the LGBTQ+ community to build their families. 

How would WINFertility as a resource be able to help prospective same-sex parents and what are their services?

PN: WIN has been promoting equality in family-building benefits for years. Our team has helped many employers forge inclusive programs that extend benefits beyond infertility benefits, which is typically geared toward heterosexuals, to true family-building benefits including adoption and surrogacy with financial, emotional and educational support for all parents-to-be.

Would you explain if infertility benefits exist for same-sex parents?

PN: The LGBTQ+ community has yet to benefit from the state mandates that have been implemented to date. The great news however, employers are increasingly choosing to adopt benefit designs and programs like those offered by WIN that will allow LGBTQ and single employees to start and build their families with equal resources to those provided to their heterosexual colleagues. Here is addition information with links that should be helpful: Infertility Coverage by State: https://resolve.org/what-are-my-options/insurance-coverage/infertility-coverage-state/
Fertility Insurance Mandates & Same Sex Couples: https://www.gayparentstobe.com/gay-parenting-blog/fertility-insurance-mandates-same-sex-couples/

Any recent legal changes that mean there are benefits financially to parenting?

PN: New York has been progressive in the family building benefits they mandate under certain plans, such as the inclusion of IVF effective 2020, however surrogacy was still not legal. Earlier this year NY state has mandated gestational surrogacy to be allowed. Surrogacy arrangements where the surrogate is biologically related to the child, sometimes referred to as “traditional” or “genetic” surrogacy, remain unenforceable in New York and are statutorily prohibited if the surrogate is being compensated. It’s important to note that some restrictions do apply and it’s best to be clear on how they apply.

What are the basic pros and cons of adoption over surrogacy?

PN: Adoption and surrogacy are very expensive. Adoption can cost $50k-$60k and surrogacy $100k to $300k. So while employers are offering financial support the downside is for those that require to take this journey to build their family, the out of pocket burden is high. While most clients will limit the support to lifetime maximum, WIN does have its first client that offers unlimited support for all family building.

About the author

Peter Nieves is the Chief Commercial Officer with WINFertility, the nation’s leading fertility benefits management company. For over 20 years, WINFertility has been offering family-building benefit solutions to employers, health plans and individual patients. From fertility management, including medical treatment, pharmacy and genetics to surrogacy and adoption, our mission is to help build families by providing access to the best doctors, technology and support.